Wasn't what I planned, Still Good

             It took me a while emotionally to write this post. We moved back into our house three weeks ago and  I was not all bubbly and excited or kissing the walls, like I felt I was supposed to be . I was happy to be moving out of the fifth wheel but  I was really overwhelmed and to be honest disappointed. I like to be honest on my blog. If I'm lying on here there really is no point to it so it took me a while to write because I needed some perspective...and the pinterest pin that goes with that is..

      The renters moved out on a weekend which had us slowly moving in all week long. The kids and I started unpacking and it was kind've  like shopping at your favorite garage sale. I say it like that, because a lot of the stuff I saved was sentimental. It's still kind've crap, but its our crap. The toys the kids packed away 3 years ago are more age appropriate for their younger sibling, so that's been pretty convenient. All of our family  portraits are taken Pre Waylon so I haven't hung up any pictures yet. I unpacked my beloved Fiesta ware plates, which I really missed. I discovered how long silverware drawers really are! It is  mind blowing! I found the most enormous Pyrex ever . I think its actually a standard casserole dish 9 x 11 but I forgot how huge they are! I am amazed at how quickly dinner is cooking, and I forget that I can have more than one burner on. It took everyone a while to get use to the ease of lighting the oven, y'all just turn it on? You don't have to get out a lighter ? I had to give the kids instructions. It's like they forgot how to live in a house. It's shocking really . Waylon calls it the green house.( It is by the way green. ) The bathtub has been a huge upgrade for him. My kids seem quieter now that we have more room. They just chill out. I'm trying to teach them how to use a backyard. I keep telling them to go out there. Their response is " and do what?" They have been playing hide and seek inside. Because our 1,000 square feet has all sorts of nooks and crannies to their young eyes. I'm sure you've been waiting for me to tell you that I once again have my very own washer and dryer and it is frickin AMAZING!


On one hand we are all excited to be in a house and on the other hand, the kids are all still in one room, which is not what I wanted. People keep asking me if I am so happy to be back in a house and I am ....but it's still not the amount of space I was dreaming of. When I put stuff away and it's all going in the same spot , I feel like I never left and it's creepy. Twilight zone creepy. Like the past three years were an elaborate dream. I know that sounds crazy....but its true. I really didn't think we would be coming back to the same house. I thought we were going to keep it as a rental. I thought a bigger rental would have popped up sooner for us to move into. I thought housing prices might stay lower and we could buy again. I just thought things would be different once we got to this point. Things are not bad either.  I look around and see so many blessings and the biggest ones are my children's smiley faces but it took me a while to accept that my expectations were not going to happen how I thought they should. How many times on this journey has my life not gone as planned? How long is it going to take me to really stop fighting that,  because I have really been fighting it this year. I think this is a  big moment for me and I'm trying to really accept that God's plan is greater than Kristina's plan. Cuz let me tell you, I got plans.

my new mantra?

     A few things we realized we didn't have packed that we thought we did.... silverware. I guess we brought it all with us. I left it in the fifth wheel for camping so we had to buy more silverware. A toaster. I have been promising my kids a toaster. Looking back I should've put one in the trailer, but it was just one more thing taking up space which was so valuable. I have never seen kids so happy to have bagels and eggo waffles before. I might have actually deprived my children.                A microwave. In our rush to move out of the house, I have no idea what we did with our microwave. A television. We had 2 TVs. One we put in our first trailer and then sold it. The other went to storage. If you have a TV in storage, I have bad news. If it's not a temperature regulated storage, your TV might break. We had a long week without television this summer. I'm sure my kids will start blogging about these conditions we parent them in soon!
    
  Then we have homeowner problems. The first one is storage. Storage has always been an issue in this house. We have one linen closet, so I'm not sure what to do with all of our bedding. I can always use those Space bags that I used in the trailer but I was really  hoping to leave those behind. I just don't want to see them ever again, is that asking too much? We had to buy shelves. I have no idea how we managed without shelves before or a bookcase. That was remedied this weekend with an Ikea trip. Did you know I have been to Ikea in California, Utah and Colorado. pretty special huh?

the kids game room

         I've had a few great moments in the house so far. On July 3rd Oceanside has an early Independence day  firework show. We were doing our normal stuff. Kids were in the living room, I was washing dishes, when all of a sudden we had an amazing view for the fireworks from our kitchen window. Waylon is under the impression that this is a normal occurrence and has been waiting for more fireworks by the window.      Another really cool thing is a space we have in our garage that Ian made a little room out of. It use to be an office, but  we turned it  into a game room for the kids. Except it is still the most quietest place of the house so I am constantly sneaking down there to nap or read. They usually find me pretty quick. But I love it down there, you can always hear birds chirping.

       We've also had a few mishaps. We were about to  sit down to our 4th of July dinner, when Ian tried to adjust the sinks water pressure. Never mess with plumbing before a meal. The valve broke off in his hand and we had to turn off the water to the house. No big deal for us. We've gone without water right? I think we've been to Home Depot every other day.Some times twice a day.  Then the kids told us that they saw a mouse, twice. I insisted that they were seeing lizards, which we have a lot of.     Nope .     At Tuesday's dinner , our mousey friends made an appearance, which again sent us off to Home Depot. Ian caught two and I could tell he wanted me to be impressed but I really wanted to scream into a pillow. Because EWWWW. Haven't had any since, but still.

          Have you ever heard of the six word memoir challenge?  The idea is to sum up your life in six words, to find the essence of your story. I think mine is something like, "Wasn't what I planned, still good. "   That most certainly might've been stolen from the Internet, because that phrase floats in my head but it doesn't sound like me. There have been so many transitions in our live. Especially  in the past three years and I really just want to be done transitioning. Maybe that's the lesson that I was suppose to be learning. If change is the only constant, maybe learning how to accept the transitions is my life long mission.

this is worth posting twice xo

Looking toward the Future

     

     Who would've thought that having the kids in school keeps us busier than homeschooling! I can't believe it's been about two months since my lasts update  . We're about to have our last week of school and it boggles my mind when I compare our lives to the beginning of this school year. I recall a wasp infestation inside the trailer on the first day is school! Who could forget? Anyway,  Ian got on a job that's about an hour away. He's home at nights and most weekends . He was very excited to be working in his county ! Wrex had a group project this week, it involved him and a buddy making a music video about Julius Cesar. He actually voiced to me that this was something that he had missed when he was homeschooling. To be clear, he missed friends because I assure you, his musical career is a bit dim.  I defensively argued back that I'm sure he also missed the extra hour and a half of sleep that his homeschooling allowed because ...well I am childish! The truth is , I am so happy that he likes Jr High and I'm incredibly shocked that I will have an 8th grader. He also pointed out that most 8th grade boys are taller than me . To that I say Ha Rumph! Houston got his year book yesterday and was amazed to see that he was actually in it! That's got to be a hard working year book staffer, to catch a kid that came in March! We've been involved in his school and went on a mother son orienteering night. Very fun. We also participated in the book fair and guess who is in PTO for next year? Houston likes having me at his school , so that's what I plan on doing. Waylon is less like a baby and more like a full on boy. For the last week, he dug out a Halloween skeleton and has been taking Mr. Skeleton with us everywhere. Even to a very special graduation dinner. I don't know how to fight him on this when he is so clearly my child. So instead we pull up a chair for Mr. Skeleton and we tuck him into bed at night. I have been better than I deserve. This Mothers Day, Wrex bought me a movie ticket to see a chick flick and sent me with money to buy myself a popcorn. Houston bought me red vines and I spent the afternoon by myself at the movies . It sounds odd maybe? Kinda lonely? But actually , I was just so appreciative that they realized I'm a person , with needs of my own. They treated me like they want to be treated  and I call that a victorious day in parenting! Also, my aunt had taken me to a day spa the day before. I was untouchable that weekend!

     Memorial day weekend marked  three years that our family of five has lived in a fifth wheel. Holy crap! How did we survive that? Three years ago I took our kids out of school a little early and we moved to Salt Lake City, Utah. Now we're back in our hometown but still in our fifth wheel. Most of you that I  talk to know how crazy that has made me. The fact that we are not in a house yet, has driven me insane. We're talking about multiple mommy meltdowns. The truth is it has been a major conflict over here. Coming home  did not go as planned . We thought Ian getting to work would happen faster. I thought a dream rental would be waiting for me . I wondered if we might  buy another house...The reality that I was faced with was work was slow in January. Rentals were scarce and kinda yucky and   prices were going up. My family and I only wanted to stay in selective  areas and that made it tough to find what we wanted. Also,  my husband and I had different ideas about how the next part of our lives would start. He thought of being more conservative. Living modestly, pile up a large amount of savings and then make a plan. I want something now. We've already been sacrificing , let's see the payoff now. I want a house so big , I can't hear the kids when I'm in the bathroom . That sounds amazing to me!  Ian has been gone longer than the boys and I. He really just wanted to go back to our house  and feel like he came home. I just wanted a big house where everyone could scatter. Neither of these ideas were realistic. Our home is a quaint beach bungalow that's two bedrooms one bath on a large quarter acre. It's a half-mile away from the beach and Ian has put his blood sweat and tears  into that house.  I didn't write about this sooner because it was a very hot button of mine. I never really even considered going back to the house because of when the lease ended. I had no intention of staying in our fifth wheel any longer than necessary. We recently had to move RV parks. That was so disappointing. I thought I had parked in my last RV park . We've just covered the house topic from top to bottom. Our friends and kids are sick of hearing about it. The facts are: nothing very tempting has come up to rent and rentals go like hot cakes around here. So I can finally tell you , we're going home. The renters have their 60 day notice to vacate the property . We are working with a contractor and will be adding on a master bedroom and bath sometime in August. If everything goes well. I'm excited for the next season of our lives to start. It could be just the start of summer, but I feel excitement  for all of these  changes to finally begin . Now that I can accept that things aren't the way I thought they should be , I can really start to appreciate and feel excited for how they actually are. I'll keep you posted on our progress . I realize my blog has been about , traveling , homeschooling, running and now about remodeling. I would apologize but it sounds just as scatterbrained as I am . So thanks for following me living this life on the road. 

Hey Remember me?

Hey ! Remember me? That's been my phrase lately. Our family has slowly been entering back into our old lives and it feels like so much has changed and then there's all the stuff that hasn't . I wonder if people will remember us and then I realize I don't want to stand out . My mom keeps reminding me that I haven't put out an update in a while and I told her, "I just don't know what to say." She said "tell them, you're not alone. " And I know what she means, it's just I never was alone , anywhere I went . God always provided a special person to keep me company and I'll never forget that. 

  About a month ago , Ian got called to a job 4 hours away. He was so happy to get back to work but our family didn't follow him on this job. We started to put down roots here in Oceanside , our hometown and we just couldn't leave again. So that's been difficult . He comes home on the weekends, sometimes when he's not working overtime . It feels counter intuitive since we spent the past few years trying to stick together.  Then there's still the fact that the boys and I are in the fifth wheel. It's all good and fun to be in a fifth wheel when you're moving from town to town but when you're in your own neighborhood, being in a trailer feels weird! Our house is rented out and I don't know if we should get a rental or what, so that's just its own strangeness. But I gotta tell you, I am so anxious to get out of the fifth wheel! 

  Quite a few things have changed around here. About the same time Ian took his job, Wrex started at the local Jr. High. I never intended to home school the kids forever. We did that when it worked for us . However , since we didn't see us uprooting any time soon and 7th grade math is hard...we enrolled him into the local jr high. I was a nervous wreck . My 7th grade son is pretty innocent and nerdy, which I hear is cool now .Lucky him. He ended up knowing a lot of kids from the years he attended Oceanside schools. The fact that I couldn't help with his math homework the first week was proof that he's right where he needs to be . He doesn't like his PE tracher and he thinks his science class is too loud . Common core math is tough . Part of me wants to fix these issues but a wise woman shared with me something that really helped " Will there be bullies, possibly. Will teachers be unfair? They could be. Is he going to struggle with the common core? Probably at first. But these things will teach him how to handle adversity in life , because life is not perfect." Wrex and I also toured the Jr High together before he started  and I have the utmost confidence in the administrators. 

    A few weeks after Wrex started, Houston became more willing to go back to school . He was lucky enough to be able to attend the same school he went to for Kindergarten.The first week or so he sat alone at lunch. I would put notes in his lunchbox and he said they were the best part of his day . He'd check before he left to make sure my note was in there.

 Last week I dragged him to a PTO meeting. I sat there thinking that I had no business being in a PTO meeting 3/4 through the school year. I'm torn between trying to participate and feeling really out of place . But yknow? You suit up and show up right? Well as it turned out , Houston came home a few days later and said " mom , that lady from the PTO meeting saw me and introduced me to a lot of people." Ahh sweet relief, I think it's going to be ok. His school had a car show this weekend and Houston and I went and had a blast . 

  Lastly , when we got back to town, I was approached by a friend to do some bookkeeping. It was not my intention to go back to work but it sounded like a good gig for me as part time work so I took that opportunity . Waylon started preschool two days a week. So life is pretty full. Ian has been working lots of overtime but he's enjoying it. He feels good about his career. The boys and I go to Church with my mother in law on Sunday's and Monday through Friday we have school,  work and youth group.  I'm reconnecting with friends and acquaintances .  Sometimes, I feel awkward reconnecting with people because I  think "they're not going to remember me." And then thinking , "Oh crap! Maybe they've been reading my blog and know how crazy I am." But y'know that's me, I am a little crazy but kinda introverted . So for all 35 of you reading this ... I'm here , we're back. I still feel like I'm constantly transitioning and some things are not happening as fast as I'd like. Do I keep writing now that we're not traveling? I don't know . If you have an opinion on that , leave me a comment . Ok mom ? 

Tourist in our hometown

I've started writing this blog three times. I keep changing my mind about what I want to say. What I keep coming back to, is how grateful I feel. Everyone should move away from home and come back as a tourist! I have a whole new perspective and I feel so lucky to be me. 

    Three weeks ago, Ian passed his journeyman lineman exam. It was a rough week leading up to it. Our kids got the flu. One . By. One.   I told Ian he should stay in a hotel. I was so worried he would get sick on his test date and this years stomach flu was a doozy. But he didn't catch it and he passed. Instead of partying it up all weekend, we took care of sick kids. On Monday he went to work and worked 36 hours and then he said " that's it, I'm done, screw this weather, we're going home." So we did. We drove back to California with our trailer in two days. Two days that I had that cruddy, sinus congestion, cough thing that everyone's been having. We made in to weather in the 60s and the nicest RV Park, I've ever stayed in. 

Now it feels like the whole apprenticeship was a dream. We spent our holidays with a different family member or friend every night. We took our kids to the beach. While California's temperatures dropped into the 30s and 40s , we marveled how we could still go outside! Then we went to the beach again , and went in the water with all the other tourists. Things that I took for granted before are so special to me right now. I went to a church that I've been listening to online  and I loved it and my kids liked it too!

   There are still so many uncertainties. Ian hasn't started working yet  and we're still in our trailer but we are having a great time . We're spending time as a family just hanging out. I get to see family and friends almost every day. But most importantly, I feel like I invested these past years into my family and I'm proud of that. I feel like I do have something to show for it. Maybe not physically but I am so proud of what we have accomplished as a family in the past 2 1/2 years. 

That's pretty much all for now. Not a whole lot of New Years resolutions over here. I think it's going to be an exciting year . I'm looking forward to getting back into a house, even though I don't know when that's happening. For 2015 my goal is to relax more. These past few years have been a lot of work. I'm really enjoying being a tourist in my hometown. As one of my favorite bloggers says " I've got a new pair or perspectacles on." And life is good.